I hope you guys didn't think I was trying to leave my Caucasians hangin.'
5. Mickey Avalon. No, Mickey Avalon is not black. He's Jewish. (Quick! Someone make a joke about "My Dick.") His lazy, 10th-beer-and-fourth-joint pace makes it incredibly easy for those of us even completely lacking swagger to rap along. You know what would have been cool? A Mickey Av/ ODB collabo.
4. House of Pain. Ah, Everlast, you have proven once again that giving up on working solo and starting a band is sometimes the golden ticket. Their almost-too-danceable 90s gem "Jump Around" gets me every time. This song almost got me in trouble with the law one time when my old roommate and I were driving and literally could not RESIST getting out of the car and dancing at a red light... at the corner of Westnedge and Crosstown Parkway... that's right; right by the police station. Long story short, that night started with "Jump Around" and ended with stolen 40s of Mickey's (here's hoping no cops are reading this). What is it about being exposed to Irish culture that just makes you cause trouble? Speaking of Irish culture... in case you don't know this song and you're in suspense, the answer is yes, this song does include a Biblical reference ("Word to your moms, I came to drop bombs/ I got more rhymes than the Bible's got psalms/ And just like the Prodigal Son I've returned/ Anyone stepping to me you'll get burned").
3. Eminem. (Come on, it was Eminem or the Beastie Boys. Had to show some love for the 313.)
2. Aesop Rock. Can you say "swagger?" All together now. Damn.
1. Brother Ali. Brother Ali holds the #1 spot for this reason: because he song holds it down (check out "Walking Away," which features an easy-going, funk-organ-decorated beat set off by melancholy but catchy whistling) because not only is he white, but he's SUPER-white. That's right; born with a rare genetic condition, he's actually an albino. Thanks, Brother Ali, for keeping it extra real... Twice the white, twice the swagger.
And, you must know: I'm updating this live from Kenny and Zach's place... So I dedicate today's urbandictionary.com entry to them.
"steelo: 1.) Slang for style; a playa's aura. Some get this definition confused with swagger. It can be your fashion but that's just part of the bigger picture. Let's just say, the devil didn't make you do it, it was your steelo.
'You should know my steelo/
Went from ten G's for blow to thirty G's a show/
To orgies with ho's I never seen befo'/' - Notorious B.I.G"
-thejunkie
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ReplyDeleteI can't believe you picked Eminem over the Beastie Boys. Shameful. I would put Weird Al above Eminem and I know you secretly would as well.
ReplyDelete1. my love for Weird Al is no secret.
ReplyDelete2. the final decision came down to I think the Beasties are more rap-rock than hip-hop. I like where you're coming from though.
They are only like 10% rock. That leaves like 200 songs of pure rap awesomeness. The Beasties deserve better!
ReplyDeleteSuckas, they be sayin' they can take on Adam Horovitz...
did you just call the Beastie Boys "pure rap?"
ReplyDelete